It's important to recognize that funerals and memorial
ceremonies are for the living ... for those who are affected
by the loss of a loved one. It is through the funeral process
that a number of emotional needs are met for those who grieve.
The gathering of family and friends helps to provide the
emotional support so needed at this time. This will help
those who grieve to face the reality of death and to take
the first step toward a healthy emotional adjustment.
"What Does a Funeral Director Do?"
It has been estimated that over 136 individual activities
must take place in order for one funeral to be conducted.
The funeral director is actually an organizational specialist.
Here is a condensed list of some of the more visible activities
of a typical funeral director.
- Removal and transfer of the deceased from place of death
to the Funeral Home.
- Professional care of the deceased, which may include
sanitary washing, embalming, preparation, restorative
art, dressing, hairdressing, casketing and cosmetology.
- Conduct a complete consultation with family members
to gather necessary information and to discuss specific
arrangements for a funeral.
- File all certificates, permits, affidavits, and authorizations,
as may be required.
- Acquire a requested amount of certified copies of the
death certificate needed to settle the estate of the deceased.
- Compile information and create an obituary for placement
in the newspaper and/or website of the family's choice.
- Make arrangements with a family's choice of clergy person,
church, music, etc.
- Make arrangements with cemetery, crematory, or other
place of disposition.
- Provide a register book, prayer cards, funeral folders,
and acknowledgements.
- Offer the assistance of notifying relatives and friends.
- Arrange for clergy honorariums, music, flowers, death
certificates, obituaries, additional transportation, etc.
- Care and arrangement of floral pieces
- Arrange for pallbearers, automobiles, and special services
(fraternal or military)
- Care and preservation of all floral cards, Mass cards,
or other memorial contributions presented to the funeral
home.
- Direct the funeral in a most professional manner, and
be in charge of the funeral procession to the cemetery
or other place of disposition.
- Assist a family with social security, veterans insurance,
and other claims.
What steps are involved in making funeral arrangements?
A funeral or memorial service can be tailored to fit each
of our families. Families are invited and encouraged to
honor their loved ones in a manor that they feel is meaningful.
The funeral director will be your partner in helping you
provide a special remembrance.
The funeral director will ask a variety of questions that
will be used to complete necessary documents, forms and
permits. Information about the deceased, such as full legal
name, date of birth, place of birth, social security number,
usual occupation, legal address, years of education, father's
name, and mother's maiden name will be needed.
Information for the obituary is usually obtained at this
time. Items such as date and place of marriage, how long
the person had lived in the area, educational degrees, a
brief employment history, memberships of any clubs or organizations,
hobbies and survivors are needed on an obituary. If the
family desires, the funeral director will list their preferences
for memorial gifts.
The funeral director will discuss with the family their
preferences for the service time and location. The director
will help to coordinate the service, including efficient,
musical selections, organist, vocalist, pallbearers and
final resting place.
If you have any questions regarding the arrangement process,
please contact us at helke@helke.com
, or call (715) 842-3993.
Funeral Etiquette
Who do I need to notify?
Family members and close friends of the deceased should
be notified as soon as possible by telephone. If you are
not able to make all of the phone calls personally, provide
a friend or family member with a list of people that should
be called. If the funeral arrangements are known at the
time you call, be sure to provide that information as well.
Should I send flowers or make a donation?
It is always appropriate to send flowers to the funeral
home unless otherwise requested. Flowers may also be sent
to the family. Be sure to check the obituary in the newspaper
or click here to view our online obituaries, to see if any
specific request was made. It is not necessary to send the
flowers immediately. They can also be sent several days
or weeks following. Many times the obituary will list charities
that were designated by the deceased or their family. Donations
may then be made to the charity in memory of the deceased.
What should I wear?
It is no longer necessary to wear black to a funeral. However,
you should choose dress clothes that are more subdued in
color and style.
What do I do at a visitation?
Upon entering, sign your name in the guest book. You may
then express your sympathy to the family members. Many times
the family will be in a receiving line near the casket.
You may also pay your respects to the deceased. If a kneeling
bench is placed in front of the casket, you may kneel and
say a prayer. If you do not wish to kneel, you may stand
in front of the casket for a moment.
What do I say?
What you say depends entirely on your relationship with
the deceased and their family. If the deceased is an acquaintance
or casual friend, you may say, "I'm sorry." or
"He was a wonderful person." However, if you are
closer to the family, you may want to ask if there is anything
you can do to help or express your feelings about the deceased.
You should not ask for details from the family about the
illness or death.
Is it OK for children to attend funerals?
Depending on their age and their relationship with the
deceased, it can be helpful for children to attend the services.
By attending, children are given the opportunity to say
goodbye to someone they love. Funerals and viewings also
allow children to start the grieving process. If in doubt,
simply explain to the child what will happen at the services
and ask them if they would like to go.
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